Memories

Well well well its time for some nonsensical blogging again, dun have any idea why i blog also, but it does feel good to record some of your deep thoughts somewhere, its safer than a diary and its easier cause typing is far less tiring than writing.

So many things have happen in my love life since the day i was born, regret some actions ive done, but still no matter what, everything will always remain in my heart as a nice memory for mi to reminiscene when im old.

Really feel sorry for that one person who holds me dearly, im sorry for not reciprocating your love, im not a heartless person and he knows it. But its just that when many things happen together at the same time, u will know it when its time to let go and i did.

Feel not contented sometimes, dunno y, maybe im jus too greedy. Everyone is having a beautiful relationship, creating their own fairytale, carving their happily ever after piece by piece but my past still haunts me . Every single relationship has been place on a bench mark, no one has manage to overtake the benchmark. Hahaha so sad. R had overtake this benchmark initially but he slide back after our 'honeymoon period' but he is still a great guy. Muz be i watch too many drama serials le, i shld stop watching. But sometimes i still envy, envy couples everywhere. Their boyfriend hold their hands tightly when they walk, look at them adoringly all the time, hold them by the waist while waiting for train, give a kiss when they are talking

My baby, my R is so tall, so charming, so fun to be with, sociable and friendly, mixed well with all my friends but its a pity i seem to be the opposite when im standing beside him. It may sounds negative but its a truth that ive come to accept. Beside him, im tremendoulsy short, not as good-looking as the previous gals in his life, talk too much, not humourous, sociable..i doubt..i have not much chance to mingle with his friends so im unsure myself. Can i ever have a relationship with him whereby he will feel proud to show me to all his friends, where i will be the one next to him when he attend weddings. I maybe thinking too much but its making me crazy.

Look foward to mid Dec, where his exams end.