Stupid me

Had a good start today but i somehow ruin the day myself. I can be so stupid sometimes. Was delighted juz now when R said i look pretty today and that he couldn't recognize me when i was walking among the crowd towards, he was in fact checking me out a bit. hahaha for his sake i muz really dress up more. But i ruin the whole outing at the end, done something wrong again, felt so angry at myself. Why am i so sensitive? I had slapped myself several times already but still feel its not enough to punish myself. Maybe i am just too sensitive a person, but it really doesn't feel good when he ignore me during his basketball session, not a good feeling, when he walk off juz lidat without asking me to follow him out of the court, i shouldn't have told him i felt like his maid. Wrong move! He don't meant to make me feel like a maid, its my fault actually cause everytime he after basketball he is lidat but i muz be so sensitive today and say such stupid remarks to him. I made him so angry at me for thinking this way after that he didn't even talk to me. He say he dunno what i want him to say le. Bhish!!I shouldn't have insisted on catching a movie when he is do obvious not in the mood, also dunno y but i juz want things my way at that point. Feel like slapping myself hard. When i see his face so frustrated i knew i was wrong but too late leh coz he is upset already. After movie felt guilty for having to cause him to take cab home, why am i so not understanding, can't stand myself for being such a spoilt brat. Fell a bit lonely when he didn't send me to my door-step, although i knew its really inconvenient to ask cab driver to wait for him but i juz felt that its so late already and the fact that he didn't even call me to ensure i rch home safely really hurts me so. Maybe im too sensitive.

I muz keep my promise and not be a crybaby, my previous ex leave because he couldn't stand seeing me cry, i really really dun wan history to repeat, i muz change i muz not be so sensitive le.