Thursday, July 31, 2008

Ribena~enriched with Vitamin C

Just drank the packet Ribena, while drinking i notice a 'halal' logo at the bottom. I was bewildered really, i mean im not islam but i think i know what halal means, so its kinda hard for me to imagine how could a harmless blackcurrant drink be HaLal, i can just imagine....they probably prayed before plucking every single blackcurrant.
Feel so good drinkin it after that, its what u called, sugared drink that has been blessed.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bought dinner for baby & in his brother last night, i think he is very happy coz he thank me many times. His brother leg gotten scorched by hot water steam during work, i saw his whole leg was all bandaged up,n he was limpin painfully when he walk, oh God i can hardly imagine the pain, luckily it wasn't some kind of acid, thank god.

Im practically glue to my computer screen this days, spend 9-10 hours lookin at the tiny screen durin work n lookin at the screen again after work coz im recently so caught up with the XX & DY thingy. Im startin to think DY muz be havin some kind of split personality.Im becoming a XX fan, readin her blogs everyday : p

Baby's feelin low these days, really hope he can get his first successful deal soon, really love n appreciate him for puttin effort in earning more money for our marriage. Haiz...i muz continue to support him in every thing he does, emotionally & physically.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Submissionj

Finally handed in my dissertation, im pretty sure im gonna fail this, feels terrible inside but what to do, at least i am willing to put in that much of my effort by trying my best to piece up a decent piece of work to hand in, ignore the fact that its just abt 6000 words.

Kena suan by the admin Malay gal juz now, simply detest her for her kaypohness, Quote'oh dear this is less than 10,000 words you know are you sure you wanna hand tis?' As if i have a choice!! the deadline is today for goodness sake. Trying to be a nice kind soul, he even offered to 'give' me time to do more by allowing me to use the comp at the library to wrote till i meet the 10,000 words mark. But HELLO~~~in dat case there is still a need to re-write my content page, re-print the entire papers(2 sets somemore) and bind them in staple binding, not forgettin i need the school's cover page which she dun have extra. Finish another 4,000 words in an hour, she muz be kidding, she is definately kiddin coz i heard her say to this gal after me, no late submission and there is no place for printing(she mention to me can print at this bookshop nearby)Grr...Blur SotoNg!!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Disseration~~~Freakin OUT

I am rushing for my dissertation now, can't wait for the next few hours to past, once i print all this stuff out and when tomorrow is over, it will practically be 'HOLIDAY'!! Well did i mention, i only manage to complete like half of what is expected, hahaha, haiya~~well i think im gonna flank this, but thank god my grades allow me to flank this, so im just gonna quickly get this done n over with. Mus keep tellin myself...lower ur expectation jessica...its gettin over soon...dun think abt it....beter than droppin this subject rite....ok....its startin to get in me....(i think)

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Nice Game

Yeahhh!!!
AeroBlade finally won 1 match today!! And a good thing too as the rival team is a group of corky BLOODY ANGMOHS, and they r really BLOODY, damn stupid bastard that has no sense of sportsmanship, acting like hooligans and treating our players like som kinda weakling. ROYAL REBELS YOU SUCK BIG TIME!!! Talk about being a sissy, i just wish that f***ing number 99 can run past me, so i can stick out my leg and trip him. How dare he purposely hit our players and even smack my precious baby's chin.

It has been so long since i seen them win, i think everyone is feeling very happy about this. It does gets kinda discouraging to watch them lose in almost all matches, i think the othr players mus be thinking why am i still there to watch them play when they have no results to show. Well, win or lose, i guess i have fallen in love with basketball and watchin Baby play basketball so thats all that matters.

Look forward to going with Chong Ngee's team to Batu Pahat, have decided to forego the adult camp. Not that anyone would miss me at the adult camp, but i knew that i will definately b missed is i were to skip the Batu Pahat trip. Can't wait to eat that Bak Kut Teh, drooling....

Friday, July 25, 2008

Im so glad that Baby Bert is able to make it for yesterday cell group despite the rain. Im equally glad that i leave the office at the correct timing, or else he would have to wait a long time for me.

Don't feel so well, but im glad i still manage to go through cell group. The topic was on 'God is able', pretty much like the sermon. Vic Wong is finally back to lead the cell group, really prefer him leading as teh things he said always leave me thinking deeper n deeper.

Im contemplating now, between going for the adult camp in JB or join Bert for his basketball match in Batu Pahat. I have been anticipating this Batu Pahat trip cause i know this trip will be different from the Muar trip, but Vic has asked me to go to adult camp, and i know if Vic Wong were to ask again i may just give in. I dunno, but when someone like Vic ask mi to do stuff, i kinda feel God's voice behind his in every words he say. So just hope God could speak to me and not to Vic on whether i shld go for the adult camp in JB.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The genocide

Came across some history recently, and i must say, i am truly horrified.

I have heard of wars since young, learn them in history classes, but they have never impacted me so much as they did now. World War I & II, Rwanda Genocide, the Vietnam War, and most significant which being the Holocaust and the Armenian Genocide, all of which reveals the how our beings can be overcome by the Satan, and how defenseless humans are in those times.

I read with enormous interest about The Armenian genocide, the annihilation of the Armenians. An easy search on Google will reveal all there is to know.

Beginning in 1894, the Muslim Turks carried out a policy to eliminate the Christians Armenian minority. Armenians whom are Christians and believe in God, were the highly educated ones, the ones holding professional positions and having high wealth due to the great importance place in having an education. The Turks whom were Islam were mostly peasants and farmers with no education, as their leaders believe in total loyalty and obedience therefore education is never in their minds.

In their attempt to unify the multi-ethnic race and detruct the growth of Christians, all churches, shops, schools, buidlings were destroyed, a series of massacres begin. an entire 3000 old ancient civilaization were totally wipeout. The Turks even leveled up the towns and villages of Armenian that they have destroyed, in their aim to make sure the world will one day never know of the existence of the Armenians. The Armenians people were subjected to deportation, expropriation, abduction, torture, massacre, rape, slavery,and starvation.

In July 1915, in the holy month of Muslim Ramadan, the highest concentration of massacring and murder occurs in every province of Turkey.To prevent them from being killed, some of the lucky young Armenian boys were able to escaped death by being forcefully converted to Islam secretly by their Turks neighbours, and undergo painful circumcision.
Of the entire two million Armenian population, in the period of 1915-1923, in just 8 years, 1.5 million were murdered.

I read in other articles, the Turks never tried to apologise for the genocide, and put it down in history as a civil war, it is only in the 1980s than they were forced to recognised it as a genocide. Now whenever i think of genocide this word, goosebumps wld run all over my body, as my mind will flash of the dispair, the anguish, and the pain nd agony they have faced. But im glad that our God up in Heaven will nurse their wound and return them their justice when the day comes.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

No grapes in Freezer ever

I learnt one thing today. DO NOT PUT GOOD GRAPES INTO FREEZER!!!

Feeling nothin better to do, i place a whole box of fresh green grapes into the freezer, after a few hours, i happily savoured on the grapes which taste like grape popsicle now. When i reached home the day, my ingenious act resulted in my fresh green grapes turning dirty brown, it became soft and wrinkled, the inside flesh that were juicy and firm had turn into a liquid mash pulp. The frozen fruit inside had 'defrost' and the its state had turn from ice to liquid. ARGH!!!!!! My precious grapes became inedible....

Useless brain

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Useless piece of junk

Time is ticking too fast....i have so little time and so much things to do, and yet i can complain to no one. Cause i don't like to complain.

Dissertation due end of the month, its suppose to be around 10,000 words, including questionaire, focus group, harvard reference style and to be printed nicely and filed up. But..i am like at 3,341 words, with no referencing done yet, no questionaire done, no focus group..feel like killing myself. I had wanted to give up on this disseration earlier, but oh well i listen to what my bf said, since droppin this thing will result in droppin of one grade i may as well just hand in whatever.

This whatever however shouldn't be that bad isn't it, though i am prepared to get zero - 10 marks for this piece of junk, but the process is really unmotivating. I hate it that the information, the journals i have downloaded, they just don't make much sense to me now, and how am i suppose to write another 7,000 words when i have zero in my head. Feel so useless...im useless at work, useless at studies,useless at home,( i have piles of laundry that has been left unattended too you know, i have never complained. ) useless at exercising, useless at dressing up, useless at saving up,useless at having close friends, useless at even seeking God. Hur hur hur...I wish to help my bf out by arranging flat viewing for him, but the dissertation just seems to scream for my attention, but i....haiz....another pimple popping...

Friday, July 18, 2008

My 'Puppy' Love

Read some gal's emotional blog and its making me feel emotional too, i guess its dat time of the month again coz i am startin to feel emotional.

I read about Gal C, whom confess of her past frivolous ways,the puppy or shld i say puppies love she had. it reminds me of my own past and of so many other people who shared the same past. Among the puppies love, how many were puppies and how many were true love that we have missed.

Approximately 1 mth back, by chance i met up with friends of his for a mahjong session. After a few regular teasing remarks, suddenly someone said, 'Aiya its juz puppy love' tis remark struck my heart deeply, and the hurt somehow remain etched in heart the whole nite. Numerous time i have been asked, y? y did i still seem to have feelings for him. After readin emo gal's blog, i think i have my answer. hur-hur...

Quote:
Infuactuation don't so when u realised u haven't 4get tt men/women even though u 2 broke up yrs ago. That's LOVE.

Its been 7 years, but everything feels like yesterday...

9 years ago, I start my day fresh, looking forward to sch, leave the hse at 5.55am. I would reach the sch by 6.15a.m, at tis timing, no one will be around except te cleaners. Resting my head on the table, i close my eyes but perk my ears waiting for the familiar engine sound of a taxi. Occasionally, i would step onto the high stool in front of the general office, entering into Singnet website, using their free online sms service(tis service is no longer avail) to send my sweetest sms to him. giving him yet one more thing to look forward to when he reaches homeKnowing that he wld only get to read it when he reach home in the evening,unless he isn't out of the hse yet, which i doubt. 6.30a.m. he's here, i look adoringly at him as he strides in with big steps and huge smile. My favourite smile, his dimples would jump excitedly, not 1 but 3 dimples. With his small beady eyes, chiselled face, dark tan skin, slim cut and tight perky butt(tee..hee), he never failed to charm me, his smile is always enough top resolve any unhappiness. I am the happiest gal in the world world, without the need to read crystal ball, i already knew i will have a happy, blissful marriage, with 3 energetic and active kids.

We would start our daily chit chat sitting at the benches near the general office,our heart to heart moments, time would never seem enough in those days, and the bell always seem to ring so fast. He would jump up fast when the bell rings, dashin into the general office for the microphone and the stand, and me, i will sit by the side and look at him proudly, admiring him at his every move.

I love chairman(aka monitor) meetings, both of us are chairman and chairwomen of our respective classes, and these meetings just give us more chance to steal glances at each other. Even our chinese teacher seem to agree with our relationship, once in a while they would remind me to help him out more with his chinese language homework.

Im a dancer, and he is a AVA crew, the best match. I look forward to dancing on stage, as i know he would be behind the curtains or in the sound room, looking at me in pride.

We would meet up everyday after sch, go out on saturday, and for when i stay home on sunday to accompany my father, he wld surprise me by riding his mountain bike all the way from pasir ris to underneath my block. I would happily went downstairs and spend one two hours talkin to him, and when i really can't leave the hse, i wld call him on his mobile, lookin down at him front the kitchen window,even if it means we can only see each other from a distance, to both of us, we are contended.

At night, we would chat till the wee hours, and most of the time chat till 2a.m, and both of us will listen to the smurfs good night lullaby comin out from the radio station 93.3. I wld always try to force him to sing it to me but he is always too shy to do that. I wld never forget the song,

The smurfs goodnight lullaby
try to sleep now, close ur eyes, soon the birds will start singing, twinkling stars, are shining bright, they'll be watching you all night, one more hug, one more smile, kiss you once, kiss you twice....

After a full year together, the urge to go deeper into our relationship starts gettin to me. We have never even hold hand before, no kiss, no hug and this has always resulted in never-ending teasing from his friends and mine. We love each other no doubt, but his shyness is startin to get in the way. I notice a solemn expression on his face, and every once in a while he would seem to be pondering over some serious matters. I begin to feel upset when he does not reveal to me what is on his mind. Fear overcomes me, as i thought he is probably losing interest in me, at that point i can't imagine a day without him.

After my endless persuasion, he finally promise to let me in on what is on his mind, he would page me he says. That night, i waited eagerly, as the time ticks by, i grew more anxious, not being able to wait any further i called him and threaten to be really angry at him if he does not page me immediately. I gotten the page in the end, the words looks so small on my small orange alpha numeric pager but the meaning seems so big it looks like its gonna jump out. My heart start thumpin very fast, a big grin start appearin on my face.
' CAN I HOLD UR HAND?'
A simple sentence, but it means the world to me. Our first kiss came in the same form of surprise. After a day out celebratin Valentine's Day, i begin to start worryin about our 'progress', a year for us to hold hand, than how long before he wld pop the qns of kissin mi!

Well i put an end to that qns myself. When he sent me to the lift, i did a simple distraction, and with dat, i planted a light kiss on his cheek, immed i turn ard and head into the lift, pressin on the 'close' button furiously, but not before i steal a glace at him, his face blushed and the happy grin. I dashed home, unable to contain my own embarrasement, i run into my room, and start screamin and jumpin on my bed, jumpin for joy. A kiss as never seem so special, so magical.

Quote
The only bad thing is baby is bad at words. No sweet good night msgs, no "i miss you" msgs. No romantic dating and no phone chit chatting.
I don't think i will ever understand y he is treating Emo gal C this way now, hope he will wake up and stop hurtin the people ard him,.. but deep down im just glad as what pearly said, i manage to caught him at the best moment of his life.

I have found the guy that you asked me to, the guy that treats me well the way you did, the guy that is willing to spend all his days and hours with me, but have you found yours? If u have, y are u nt treasuring it?