LOVE, what a beautiful yet confusing word. It has a life on its own, and would often comes with a beautiful story. Its seems that life=love and yet sometimes to me i feel that love=fear. It has been very long since this equation appears back into my life, a fear that i thought i would never have to experience.
I admit im feeling fearful nowadays, the ghost of past relationships do get to me sometimes, im fearful of losing this happiness i have right now. Every one goes thru a failed relationship at a certain phrase in life, and i believe everyone will agree with me that it is an experience that no one would want to face again.
I have met the perfect man in my life, a man who comprises of all that i want in a guy.A guy that i believe is a God-send, but of course im shld know that what God can send he can take away too. I can't imagine what wld become of me if this guy were to go away.Im fearful of losing his love, of losing this wonderful image that has been planted in my mind. Of our small 'bert' and small 'jess', of my velvet cushion and siamese cat. My heart weaken everytime i see him hurt, or shaken by the troubles he is facing. Although i can comfort him with a hug and a kiss but deep down i know that it is not enough. My heart jump whenever i recall what he said....'im tired' and the sentence that keeps ringing in my ears 'maybe im meant to be lonely' My fear heightens everytime i recall this sentence. I can never stop blaming myself for being such a not understanding, self-centered and selfish girlfriend.'Im no difference to her' although words do hurt human hearts like daggers, but Thank God for giving me a strong heart that can with-hold all. Its time to reflect, its time to stop being a spoilt brat.
(I have no idea what im writing, but oh well....its meant to be as confusing as my heart)
