My 'Puppy' Love

Read some gal's emotional blog and its making me feel emotional too, i guess its dat time of the month again coz i am startin to feel emotional.

I read about Gal C, whom confess of her past frivolous ways,the puppy or shld i say puppies love she had. it reminds me of my own past and of so many other people who shared the same past. Among the puppies love, how many were puppies and how many were true love that we have missed.

Approximately 1 mth back, by chance i met up with friends of his for a mahjong session. After a few regular teasing remarks, suddenly someone said, 'Aiya its juz puppy love' tis remark struck my heart deeply, and the hurt somehow remain etched in heart the whole nite. Numerous time i have been asked, y? y did i still seem to have feelings for him. After readin emo gal's blog, i think i have my answer. hur-hur...

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Infuactuation don't so when u realised u haven't 4get tt men/women even though u 2 broke up yrs ago. That's LOVE.
Its been 7 years, but everything feels like yesterday...

9 years ago, I start my day fresh, looking forward to sch, leave the hse at 5.55am. I would reach the sch by 6.15a.m, at tis timing, no one will be around except te cleaners. Resting my head on the table, i close my eyes but perk my ears waiting for the familiar engine sound of a taxi. Occasionally, i would step onto the high stool in front of the general office, entering into Singnet website, using their free online sms service(tis service is no longer avail) to send my sweetest sms to him. giving him yet one more thing to look forward to when he reaches homeKnowing that he wld only get to read it when he reach home in the evening,unless he isn't out of the hse yet, which i doubt. 6.30a.m. he's here, i look adoringly at him as he strides in with big steps and huge smile. My favourite smile, his dimples would jump excitedly, not 1 but 3 dimples. With his small beady eyes, chiselled face, dark tan skin, slim cut and tight perky butt(tee..hee), he never failed to charm me, his smile is always enough top resolve any unhappiness. I am the happiest gal in the world world, without the need to read crystal ball, i already knew i will have a happy, blissful marriage, with 3 energetic and active kids.

We would start our daily chit chat sitting at the benches near the general office,our heart to heart moments, time would never seem enough in those days, and the bell always seem to ring so fast. He would jump up fast when the bell rings, dashin into the general office for the microphone and the stand, and me, i will sit by the side and look at him proudly, admiring him at his every move.

I love chairman(aka monitor) meetings, both of us are chairman and chairwomen of our respective classes, and these meetings just give us more chance to steal glances at each other. Even our chinese teacher seem to agree with our relationship, once in a while they would remind me to help him out more with his chinese language homework.

Im a dancer, and he is a AVA crew, the best match. I look forward to dancing on stage, as i know he would be behind the curtains or in the sound room, looking at me in pride.

We would meet up everyday after sch, go out on saturday, and for when i stay home on sunday to accompany my father, he wld surprise me by riding his mountain bike all the way from pasir ris to underneath my block. I would happily went downstairs and spend one two hours talkin to him, and when i really can't leave the hse, i wld call him on his mobile, lookin down at him front the kitchen window,even if it means we can only see each other from a distance, to both of us, we are contended.

At night, we would chat till the wee hours, and most of the time chat till 2a.m, and both of us will listen to the smurfs good night lullaby comin out from the radio station 93.3. I wld always try to force him to sing it to me but he is always too shy to do that. I wld never forget the song,

The smurfs goodnight lullaby
try to sleep now, close ur eyes, soon the birds will start singing, twinkling stars, are shining bright, they'll be watching you all night, one more hug, one more smile, kiss you once, kiss you twice....

After a full year together, the urge to go deeper into our relationship starts gettin to me. We have never even hold hand before, no kiss, no hug and this has always resulted in never-ending teasing from his friends and mine. We love each other no doubt, but his shyness is startin to get in the way. I notice a solemn expression on his face, and every once in a while he would seem to be pondering over some serious matters. I begin to feel upset when he does not reveal to me what is on his mind. Fear overcomes me, as i thought he is probably losing interest in me, at that point i can't imagine a day without him.

After my endless persuasion, he finally promise to let me in on what is on his mind, he would page me he says. That night, i waited eagerly, as the time ticks by, i grew more anxious, not being able to wait any further i called him and threaten to be really angry at him if he does not page me immediately. I gotten the page in the end, the words looks so small on my small orange alpha numeric pager but the meaning seems so big it looks like its gonna jump out. My heart start thumpin very fast, a big grin start appearin on my face.
' CAN I HOLD UR HAND?'
A simple sentence, but it means the world to me. Our first kiss came in the same form of surprise. After a day out celebratin Valentine's Day, i begin to start worryin about our 'progress', a year for us to hold hand, than how long before he wld pop the qns of kissin mi!

Well i put an end to that qns myself. When he sent me to the lift, i did a simple distraction, and with dat, i planted a light kiss on his cheek, immed i turn ard and head into the lift, pressin on the 'close' button furiously, but not before i steal a glace at him, his face blushed and the happy grin. I dashed home, unable to contain my own embarrasement, i run into my room, and start screamin and jumpin on my bed, jumpin for joy. A kiss as never seem so special, so magical.

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The only bad thing is baby is bad at words. No sweet good night msgs, no "i miss you" msgs. No romantic dating and no phone chit chatting.
I don't think i will ever understand y he is treating Emo gal C this way now, hope he will wake up and stop hurtin the people ard him,.. but deep down im just glad as what pearly said, i manage to caught him at the best moment of his life.

I have found the guy that you asked me to, the guy that treats me well the way you did, the guy that is willing to spend all his days and hours with me, but have you found yours? If u have, y are u nt treasuring it?